“We are not here to make friends. We have a business to do“
It is a comment I have heard more than once in the context of bringing people together and building teams. A fair point, one might say, given that everyone’s worth today in the business world is defined by the quarter.
Whether we make friends or not at work, is it important that we know each other a little better?
‘Oslo’, a fantastic movie with endearing characters tells the story behind the first secret channel negotiations between Palestine (represented by PLO) and Israel that finally led to the Oslo Accords. Facilitated by Mona Juul (Ruth Wilson), a diplomat in the Norwegian Ministry of Foreign Affairs and her husband Terje Rod-Larsen (Andrew Scott) of the policy think-tank FaFo Institute, the first meeting happens in a manor near Oslo. PLO is represented by Ahmed Qurie (Salim Daw) and Hassan Asfour while Yair Hirschfeld (Dov Glickman) and Ron Pundak, both professors from the University of Hafia represents Israel (unofficially).
As Terje takes them around the manor, they walk across a hall and at the entrance of the meeting room, Terje says:
“In that room, when the door is closed, you four will talk. Or worse, you will disagree. But out here, will share our meals. We will talk of our families. We will light the fire. Because it is only in the sharing of the personal that we can see each other for we truly are”
In the later scenes many poignant and intense dialogues, expressions and silences unravel the raw people behind their titles (brilliantly essayed by all actors).
Stakes are high. Divisions are deep. Scars are non-erasable. Lives are lost. And the starting point for a remedy? Seeing the human behind the name and the national identity.
On our office and shop floors, the intensity is not even a fraction of this. We are not saving lives (in most cases). More often than not we are dealing with far less mortal problems like moving the needle on market shares or profits by a few tiny points.
Yet, the stories and contexts of people around us, beyond their titles and roles matter. It is that invisible weave that holds everyone together when times are tough or make the celebrations meaningful when all is well.
“I don’t like that man. I need to get to know him better” is a quote widely attributed to Abraham Lincoln. No one doubts that he knew a thing or two about leadership.