This was first written and published in April 2007 in the The Brand Reporter and agencyfaqs!.
Mein hoo na, Dil Se
…Thank you for holding the line…. You are a valuable customer…. Please hold the line while we transfer you to a customer care executive…. You are a valuable customer……. It was the 8th time this cycle was repeating. Actually I had forgotten my 22-digit easy-to-remember relationship identification number. And that’s why I had to wait on the line and being kept reminded that I am a valuable customer.
Banks, these days are very ‘caring’, ‘loving’. They are now part of our family. Or we are part of their family. There are managers who will ‘manage’ our relationships. There are technologies, which help them remember our birthdays, anniversaries and perhaps even the day of our first date. All we need to do is to always remember our easy-to-remember relationship numbers or x-pins (a variety of them are there, H-pins, T-pins, I-pins, safety-pins and more).
Brand specialists, creative honchos and account directors work over time helping banks how to tell us how much they care for us. They write baselines that touch our heart and expect us to rush to open a new account or get that hassle-free personal loan, which makes the dream vacation to moon affordable. The logo with 8½ colours have distinct meaning and purpose, each conveying the values, the dynamism, the caring nature, the warmth and many more, all of which are as abstract as theory of relativity for you and me. Gone are the days of ‘Banking since 1648’ kinds. Now it is (supposedly) all about an emotional touch. From ‘we understand your world to Mein hoo na! to Hum hai na!, all are vying for a place in our hearts. Sample this. ‘Hassle-free Trade Accounts. Because, We Care – Dil Se’ Oh! boy, we are deeply touched. Copy writing never had it so good.
But the road to our hearts is a long way. That’s what our experience confirms. Not wanting to get missed out from being part of the emerging, young and vibrant India, we decided to invest some money in Mutual Funds. Doing it for the first time, we wanted some one to explain us the various options and help us in doing this prudently. The first choice obviously was our own bank. The website did not have much information. The cheque book had a leaf where we could tick the products/services we are interested and drop at the nearest ATM/Branch. One morning, while going for the routine walk, I dropped the leaf at the nearest ATM, with a tick on the Mutual Funds column. Now, more than 2 months later, there is no response from the bank. ‘Solutions for a lifetime’ or ‘A lifetime for solutions’?
Meanwhile, not wanting to get swayed or biased by a lone sales executive, we approached two other banks. The second was a multi-national bank. We sent a 2-letter SMS to a 4-digit number. Within 2 days, we received a call asking for our office and residence addresses and were informed that we would get a call for fixing a personal meeting. After a month’s wait for the elusive call, we walked into the same bank’s branch, near our house. Promptly received by a customer care executive, we were given a brochure and asked to wait if we want to meet someone personally. We waited for 15 minutes. Since both of us had to go to office, the executive collected our contact details and promised us that the sales officer would call on us on the following day. Almost a month since the visit to the bank, we are waiting for his call and visit. I empathise. It is not easy being the local bank for the whole world.
The third was an Indian private sector bank. This time, again it was a 2-letter SMS to a 4-digit number. We received a thank you message and no response after that, and it is more-than-a-month-old story. It’s ok. I understand their world.
Yet, we make an earnest effort to recite the 22-digit number every day morning so that we learn it by-heart, and feel good that we are valuable customers to our banks. While the money kept for the Mutual fund found its way to our PPF account in a State Bank.